Episode 3: THE SECRET INGREDIENT

Episode 3 - "The Secret Ingredient" - Credits

Written and Directed by Sarah Shachat.

Script Editing by David K. Barnes.
Performance by Eli Barraza as Olive Hamby.
Original Music by Alan Rodi.

Sound Design by Zach Valenti.

Produced by Sarah Shachat, Zach Valenti, and Gabriel Urbina,

along with Angel Acevedo, Jenn Schneider, and Amy Tanguay.

Episode 3 - "The Secret Ingredient" - Transcript

[Unseen opening credits music plays.]

Announcer: Long Story Short Productions presents... Unseen.

[Unseen Theme continues playing.]

Announcer: Episode Three. The Secret Ingredient, by Sarah Shachat.

[Music fades.]

[The ambiance of a street, early in the morning.]

[The sound of footsteps walking on gravel. A woman - named Olive - exhales.]

Olive: Stupid morning. Why do I gotta be the one who has to get up at stupid o’clock to open the stupid bar. No, you know what? I am alert and awake and -

[A thump. Olive stops walking.]

Olive: Hmm? Confused? What - Who the hell just leaves boxes right by the door to - Ooooh. Packages. They’re packages, Olive. It’s a normal thing, I am just still -

[She yawns.]

Olive: - really sleepy. Whew. Well, not as sleepy as the poor UPS driver must be. Jeez, who leaves deliveries before seven?

[Some rustling and a slight grunt as she picks up the packages.]

Olive: You two come with me, laddies. We’re not really open until eleven, but if you’re quiet you can hang out while I clean up whatever mess late shift left for me, okay?

[Keys jangle as they are inserted into a lock and turned. A door unlocks.]

Olive: Hah! Once more into the breech, dear friends. Or is unto?

[The door opens.]

Olive: Whatever.

[Olive steps through the door, and into a bar.]

Olive: Let’s see what’s -

Recorded Voice: Top o’ the morning to ya!

Olive: Oh, Lord.

[She groans.]

Olive: He did it. He actually installed that freaky leprechaun doorbell from hell. So... what? Now, every time that -

[She swings the door open and closed.]

Recorded Voice: Top o’ the morning to ya!

[She swings the door open and closed again.]

Recorded Voice: Top o’ the morning to ya!

Olive: Okay. Awesome. That’s just... It’s August, Amit! St. Patrick’s Day is so far from... Mmm. No. Not gonna go there.

[She shuts the door.]

Olive: But I mean, you guys are packages, you get it. That thing violates my eight amendment rights. Probably.

[Footsteps as she walks further into the bar. She places the packages of the counter.]

Olive: Oh, what am I saying? Y’all are probably filled with more shamrocks or whatever. Well, welcome to Declan’s: the okay-est fake pub in all Chicago. You can look forward to a lot of NFL Extra and workplace kickball teams not understanding how to split tabs efficiently - but... eh, a semi-decent beer rotation, and the staff, if I do say so myself, is pretty... Oh. Oh right. Hang out for a sec, package pals. I have very official bar business to attend to. So official. The most.

[Some fast footsteps as she walks over to another part of the bar.]

Olive: Please don’t have left a note in the credit card box... please don’t have left a note in the credit card box...

[She opens a small box. Flips a piece of paper over.]

Olive: Ah, crap, she left a note! Please don’t be perfect, please just don’t be perfect...

[A pause. Then, she sighs.]

Olive: I - Oh. Friends. Romans. Packages I am anthropomorphizing because I’m freakin’ out a little: I regret to inform you that the note is kind of perfect. “Hey Early Shift. Thanks for the advice. Tried out your end-of- summer cocktail idea and added a spring of thyme, which seemed to make the difference. Also, let it not be said I’m not a nerd of my word - you were absolutely right about the lime. Now it just needs a name. Let me know if you have any ideas? Ex-oh, Late Shift.”

[Olive groans.]

Olive: Stupid... cute... freckled... pixie- cut having... late night bartender... I mean, what gives her the right to be this cute?! “Now it just needs a name. Let me know if you have any ideas?” I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? Huh?

[A pause.]

Olive: Uck, no! I’m not thinking about this. I’m opening the bar.

[A pause. A fly buzzes in the background.]

Olive: Mmm, well, baby steps. Let’s take care of the packages first.

[Footsteps as she walks back to the counter. Olive sighs.]

Olive: Okay... Let’s see what behind Door Number One...

[A knife clicks open, and cuts through cardboard. We hear Olive riffling through packing paper under the following:]

Olive: Oh. Oh, wow. Lots of Guinness merch. Lots of... okay, I don’t know where he wants that banner to go, but sure, why not?

[Olive places some items on the counter. She hums as she continues unpacking the package.]

Olive: Okay... wait... Wait. Is this a toucan?

[She taps a ceramic object.]

Olive: Is this a Guinness-themed toucan? I - it totally is! Oh, Humanity... You’re never gonna stop surprising me, are you? Well, Mr. Bird... what are we going to do with you? Hmm... Yeah. You can go next to the iPads. You’re balancing a beer on your beak, so I trust you.

[She sets the object down.]

Olive: All right, that’s Door Number One. What about you, Number Two? What do you... huh. This is... addressed to me...?

[She CUTS through the packing tape.]

Olive: Who the heck would send me a package here at - ?

[She opens the package. We hear a gust of wind and some strange ghostly whispering.]

Olive: Oh, hell no!

[She shuts the package, and strange sounds instantly cut off.]

Olive: No, no, this is not happening... How did they even find me?

[A pause.]

Olive: Okay, okay... get a grip, Olive. It’s okay. No one knows it’s here. No one saw anything. Well... except for you, Mr. Bird. But you’re not going to rat me out, are you? Knew I could count on you. But... yeah: we’re just gonna ignore that. Pretend we neeevver saw it. Cool? Cool.

[The package rattles.]

Olive: You be quiet! I - if it’s way to early for my normal job, it is waaay too early for magical packages. I will deal with you. Later.

[The package rattles again. Olive huffs.]

Olive: Whatever. Sulk all you like. See if I care. I got plenty of tables to bus.

[Olive begins cleaning up the space around her. We hear the clink and clang of various objects as she puts them away.]

[The package rattles.]

Olive: Oh, do you hear something, Mr. Tropical Guinness? I don’t. Weird.

[The package rattles again, louder. Olive groans.]

Olive: Screw it. I need to talk through this with somebody, and you are officially cheeper than therapy, you weird... Beer... Bird. In fact, you are horrifying but free. Title of my memoir. Anyway. Uh, here’s the thing. I’m gonna assume that, as a plastic novelty item, you’re at least a little familiar with the Unseen World, right? Magic all around us and big, bad Caul that hides the reality of magic from the most of humans? Right? Right.
Well, plot twist! Humans aren’t the only game in town! The Caul also hides all the other major sapient species on the planet. I’m talking harpies, goblins, merfolk, dragons... and, of course, my people. The Fae. Homo sapiens are really just your garden variety walking, talking trash-fires. The Fae been around just as long - even if our horrible imperialist civilization peaked a little bit earlier than theirs has. And I know what you’re thinking. Hey, if lots of beings can do magic, lots of beings can do magic. How do you know this very animated cardboard box is from a Court of the Fae?

[The package rattles.]

Olive: That. That right there is how I know it’s from my people. We’re annoying, preening idiots who live for petty drama. For about a hundred and fifty years each, anyway.

[The package rattles again.]

Olive: And see, this is my problem. Well, my most immediate problem. That package is not gonna shut up until I open it. And when I do... Well, my life - which I have worked very hard to simplify - is gonna get complicated. Again. So... any thoughts about how to deal with this situation? Do you think Amit would mind if I just set the bar on fire?

[A pause.]

Olive: Yeah. Okay. That’s fair.

[Her fingers drum against the bar counter. The package rattles again.]

Olive: Ugh, fine. You win. Let’s see what’s so goddamn important.

[Olive opens the package.]

[There is a woosh. We hear the soundscape of a pleasant woodland setting. It continues under the following:]

Olive: Ah, Ryllgar’s Crown. This is a summons, isn’t it?

[Paper crinkles as she digs through the package.]

Olive: Yep, here we go. It’s a goddamn roll of parchment because WhatsApp just isn’t dramatic enough. Okay. Let’s see what the damage is...

[A roll of parchment is unfurled.]

Olive: “The High Court of Zecarion, sovereign enclave of the Kingdom of blah, blah, blah... sends wishes for pleasant days to you, Ollantesia D’Hambres” - okay, let’s go easy on the full name there. It’s mine, and even I think it’s a bit much. “Although your decision to leave Sylvan lands and live amongst the Veiled in the United States has been sanctioned in accordance to..." Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh... Ah. Okay. Here comes the offer I probably can’t refuse. “A project has arisen...” OooOooh. “...results could be integral to the continued prosperity... Thus we request your services as a... master hermeticist.” Oh. “Please return to Zecarion to render these services at your earliest convenience. Examine the enclosed notebook, which contains the relevant formulas, and please advise of your intentions through one of the accompanying runes. We expect your answer within the week, or will conclude that your wish is to be counted among the unaffiliated. I have the honor to serve the glory of..." Yeah, whatever.

[There's another woosh and the woodland atmosphere disappears. We're back in the bar.]

Olive: Well... crap. Okay. So... so this isn’t just your standard, “Come home so we can dress you down, oh ye prodigal daughter.” They didn’t think I was so master-full when I left - so.... mmm, they must be desperate. Or maybe they think I’ll like the way it sounds. Which, since we’ve established a circle of Guinness-themed trust, Mr. Bird, I gotta say... I don’t dislike how it sounds.

[She sighs and starts digging through the package again. She produces several items through the following:]

Olive: Well, let’s see. Notebook full of alchemical theorems: check. After that: yep. Rune number one -

[The rune makes a humming noise.]

Olive: This is the one for... “Will return immediately.” Yeah sure... Rune number two...

[The rune makes a slightly different humming noise.]

Olive: This one’s for... “Must delay, but will arrive by the turn of autumn.” Turn of autumn. Yeessh. Ah, and here’s rune number three...

[The rune makes its own distinct humming sound, different from the first two.]

Olive: “The problem described lies outside my expertise.” Hmm. I can’t help but notice that none of them say anything about, “I’d rather just stay out of this whole thing, please and thank you.” Would that be too much to ask?

[The runes hum. There's a burning, scalding sound.]

Olive: Ow! Hot! Oh, good. You’ve bonded to me now, haven’t you? So now those blowhards at the Court will know I got their care package. Hooray. Well the jokes on you, glow sticks! You bother me at my work, you get to stay at my work. I’m not taking you home; you can rot in the lost and found for all I care.

[A box scrapes and objects jangle as the runes get crammed under the bar.]

Olive: And as for you, Mr. Notebook Full of Alchemical Formulas... let’s... You know what, we can just have quick look at you. Right?

[She begins to flip through the pages of the notebook.]

Olive: What are they trying to turn into gold now? Uh-huh... uh-huh... uh... huh. Would that even hold together? Oh, I see. Well, that might work. You’d have to triple the... No!

[The notebook lands on the counter.]

Olive: No. I am not doing that.

[A pause.]

Olive: I'm not! Don’t you judge me, bird! I can see you over there, with your big, judgy, plastic eyes. I left all that behind me when I left Zecarion. Done deal. I am living a happy, purposeful life without needing to bewitch, hex, or persuade anyone! I don’t miss living among the fae!

[Olive laughs a little.]

Olive: I mean, I really cannot tell you what a relief it was to leave. Even if - even if I do miss the work. I mean, mixing cocktails doesn’t exactly give you the same boost that turning molten wax to titanium does. Oh man, I miss owning a crucible. But I don’t! I don’t miss it, either. I have a life here. I have friends. I have very particular opinions about pizza. I have a cute girl that I - that - that I just keep exchanging notes with across shifts because I’m too scared to ask her out.

[Olive groans.]

Olive: Oh, Mr. Toucan. This is bad. This is very bad.

[A pause.]

Olive: Okay. Let’s... Let’s talk through the whole thing. Maybe - maybe it’ll help if we just lay it out. Yeah. Just... Lay it out step by step. Right. So, Step One: I grow in a Kingdom of the Fae and it kinda sucks. But I do grow up, and I become a hermeticist - what you in the bird community would probably refer to as an alchemist. And that’s great. For a while. Then Step Two: the Court politics get a little too "I, Claudius" for my taste and I leave Zecarion for the distant and exotic state of... Illinois. I swear off magic for a bit, then swear off Cubs fans for a bit, then get a job working at Declan’s. Step Three: Beginning of summer, we take on some extra staff. That’s fine. I’m working a late shift when one of them’s supposed to start, and I don’t think anything of it. But then... Step Four: I actually see this girl. She has this amazing leather jacket, and this pixie undercut that falls just so, and... honestly, so many freckles. Like... you-could-see-them-from-across-the- bar amounts of freckles. And then her eyes find me. And we’re looking at each other. And I feel like I’m falling.

[She laughs slightly.]

Olive: And we can just skip over Step Five, where I do fall down and break a whole tray of shots and get absolutely soaked in tequila.

[Olive clears her throat.]

Olive: Smooth. But Step Six, my very favorite step of the bunch, involves this girl coming over and helping me up, despite all the evidence that I am an irredeemable weirdo. And she tells me that her name is Taylor, and if I want to go get cleaned up, and you know, fish the glass out of my hair, she’s got this. She can hold down the fort. And then Step Seven, which is a very strong runner up, involves me showing up to work the next day and finding a little envelope in the credit card box addressed to me, with a note from this freckled Goddess, saying that she’d found my earrings on the floor, and that it’d be shame for me to lose them. Because, and I quote, “You looked great in them.”

[Olive sighs.]

Olive: Now, we all know that Step Eight should have been I say something, anything, about how her smile leaves me completely flummoxed. But no. No. Steps Eight through Twelve have all been: exchange cute little messages while procrastinating asking her out all summer.

[Olive exhales.]

Olive: And I know, I know I don’t have, like, a ton more steps to waste here. But there’s something that makes this complicated. Well. More complicated.

[A pause.]

Olive: I don’t know whether she’s Veiled or not. Whether she can see past the Caul. You know, when I first moved out of Zecarion, the Caul felt like the best thing that ever happened to me. It makes it so the humans don’t notice any of the things that mark us out as... well, Fae. It flattens our ears. Rounds out our features. Changes our eye color, which? Okay, that’s a little rude. There are some humans with violet eyes; look it up.

[A pause.]

Olive: But that aside... there’s also a kind of freedom in it, too. I could just blend in. Make friends. It - It was like a get-out-of-baggage-free card. And then... you get close to someone. Like, really, really close. And... even if you love them, and you think they love you, there’s always a tiny part of you that just goes... “Wow. They don’t know me. They can’t even see me as I am.” And that... doesn’t work.

[A pause.]

Olive: Sometimes human can break past the Caul later in life, but usually... usually by the time they get through their teens, it’s pretty much locked in. Whether they can perceive magic or not. Which brings us to the Million-Dollar Question: "Can Taylor see past the Caul?" If I ever do any magic in front of her, will she get all glassy-eyed and weird and get a sudden urge to be somewhere else and then forget all about it?

[Olive groans.]

Olive: Ughh. I really like this girl, Mr. Bird! And I want her, when she looks at me in those earrings, to see the actual me, not the watered- down version. There. I said it out loud. Can I feel better now?

[A pause.]

Olive: Huh. Apparently not. God, I could use a tequila shot right about now. Either that or one of the really fancy... cocktails...

[Footsteps as she rushes to the other side of the bar. She opens the small box from earlier.]

Olive: “Hey Early Shift, blah, blah, blah, end-of-summer..." Yes, yes, yes... "Now it just needs a name. Thoughts?” Hey, bird? What do we think about calling a cocktail “Magic Is Real?” I mean... Okay. Okay, on the one hand, this is the most roundabout way to figure out whether she’s through the Caul or not. But... it would be a way to ask, right? Not like, ask-ask, but it might work. I mean, even if she’s a Witness, she’d get the implication. Okay, I see that skeptical look, Mr. Tropical Stout. I see it, and I don’t appreciate it. I have enough skepticism in my life as is, I don’t need it from you. Especially since...

[Olive takes a deep breath.]

Olive: Well... especially since Taylor’s moving away. Wisconsin at the end of the month. God knows why. But... I don’t have a ton of time to figure this out.

[Muffled, there is humming from the runes.]

Olive: Oh. Right. I don’t have a ton of time to figure any of this out.

[Slowly, the sound of the scene fades down and disappears.]

[Sound fades back in on the bar, the following day.]

[The door swings open and we hear footsteps as Olive enters.]

Recorded Voice: Top o’ the morning to ya!

[Olive groans.]

Olive: Uuughh, I am so not warming up to that.

[She shuts the door, sighs, and walks over the counter.]

Olive: Survive your first night of bar-dom, Mr. Bird? I’m sure you had a grand old time. And I’m sure it was more fun than my night. You know, there’s no party quite like pondering a three-way dilemma of a promising but tenuous relationship, a promising but tenuous career opportunity, or doing nothing and feeling awful.

[She inhales and exhales.]

Olive: I don’t like change, okay! That’s universal across species!

[A slight pause.]

Olive: Okay. Thanks for your support. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to... pretend my life problems don’t exist and sort through this silverware.

[Olive sorts through a variety of knives, forks, and spoons. They clatter as she works through them.]

[Suddenly, one of the forks makes a different kind of sound when it lands.]

Olive: Hmm. Hello there, Mr. Plastic Fork. What are you doing here amongst your metallic peers? Do you live among them, hiding your true nature from all your friends?

[She exhales.]

Olive: Well, I don’t want to just throw you out. Hmmm... Noooo. No. No, no, no, no, no. I’m not using magic to... I meeeean, I could use magic to change it into metal. I should probably still make sure I still know how. Make sure my... Master of Hermetics skills haven’t gotten rusty. What do you think, Mr. Bird? I will be ruled by your judgment.

[A pause.]

Olive: Excellent. Let’s get set up, then.

[Footsteps and objects clattering as Olive walks throughout the bar, picking up a variety of items.]

[She claps and rubs her hands together.]

Olive: All right, my avian friend. I wasn’t expecting to do a hermetics demonstration today but here we are. The human myth of alchemy is all fine and fun. And it’s not... sooo far off from the truth. It’s just gotten filtered down, like everything the Caul gets its hands on. We actually call the art of persuading objects to change states Hermetics. Or if you wanted to be really old fashioned, Constitution. There’s a whole guild and everything.

[She pours the liquid out of a bottle. Soaks an object in its contents under the following:]

Olive: Now this may come as a shock to you, but there’s more than one kind of magic out there - just like there’s more than one kind of magical being. Persuasion’s the most common, of course, and the building block for everything else. But there are others. It used to be thought that Hermetics was the goblins’ art - that they alone could magically the alter the character of inanimate objects.

[Some glass objects clatter as Olive moves them around. A knife is brandished, and used to cut an object into strips.]

Olive: Obviously that’s bunk. Anyone can do anything - it just has to make sense in your head. It’s true that most folks back home don’t go in for hermetics. But I dunno. I’ve always been able to see a little bit of myself in the everyday things around me... as evidenced by who I’m talking to, I suppose...

[Ice clatters as it is poured into a container.]

Olive: Now, my little feathered lush! What I’m doing here is actually not that far from making a mixed drink.

[Various objects clatter. She clicks a lighter and lights it.]

Olive: There’s just more firepower involved.

[The flame is amplified into a large fire. Liquid starts to roil and bubble under the following:]

Olive: Or, you know, magically-amplified-votive candle-power. But, eh, we make do with what we have. That’s a little bit out in left field, mind you. Making do. Hermetics formulas are very, very strict, as a rule. Dense calculations and theorems. But... eeevery case is a little different. The constraints change. Sometimes you really can’t get anywhere with it unless you can divine the secret ingredient. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever improvise.

[She picks up some more bottles, and dumps their contents into the concoction.]

Olive: After all, if Persuasion is about holding an idea in your mind so strongly you force it to come true, then Hermetics is all about combining elements with enough of a... shock that the object persuades itself.

[She moves some more objects around.]

Olive: Now, here’s the fun part. Are you watching closely?

[A trill of magical energy goes through the room. The bubbling grows more pronounced, until there's a small blast of energy. The bubbling settles and comes to a stop.]

Olive: Boom. Shock. Now let’s see how our errant knight is doing...

[Various objects clatter as she moves them out of the way. There's a crisp metallic ding.]

Olive: Perfect. Tin-plated like the best of them. Still got it.

[Muffled, we hear the sound of the runes humming.]

Olive: Oh, come on. What? I did a little magic so you guys are getting all impatient or something?

[We hear footsteps, followed by the sound of a box sliding through the floor. Olive opens it.]

[The runes' humming continues under the following:]

Olive: Oh, wow. You’re noisy and warm to the touch. Awesome. Hey, you said I have a week to decide! That’s six more days. And just because I did some alchemy doesn’t mean I enjoyed it!

[A pause.]

Olive: I mean, I did enjoy it, but that doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to anything! I was doing this for my current job! That I am fine with, for the record, and not at all concerned about what happens next, or if anything needs to happen, or if I’m distracting myself with a crush or if this is just my life now or - Ryllgar’s Crown, Olive.

[Olive takes a deep breath.]

Olive: Okay. Not gonna - I’m - okay. I have a week. I have a week.

[A pause.]

Olive: And - sure, I’ll admit it. The work is interesting, and the opportunity is flattering as hell. I’m in a different place than when I left home. I mean, I am literally in a different place, but also! I’ve... grown. Also they’re asking me back, which means I could set the terms of me rendering them this oh-so- valuable service. I should think about it. I should. And I mean, it’s not like there’s been any movement on my super straightforward magic-cocktail- educational front. What did I think was gonna happen here? (mock voice) “Hey, I love that name, totally gonna go with it. Also great to know you’re a fellow magician! Let’s make out!”

[She sighs, then sits down on a stool.]

Olive: Okay, real talk, Mr. Bird: Am I going to chicken out on - oh, no offense - on talking to this girl? I mean, Zecarion is fine. Lots of people think it’s amazing - which, ugh, pass. But then again I’ve always been wired weird, and I kinda always knew I’d find my people somewhere else, because they definitely weren’t at home. And I did. Mostly.

[A small pause.]

Olive: But... I have this other thing that I’m good at. And a place that will let me be good at it. Even if it’s not perfect, it’s - I can deal. And so then the question, I hear you ask - in your squawk-y bird voice, naturally - is: is that better than trying to have a love life?

[Olive sighs.]

Olive: What hurts is it wouldn’t even have been a question if you’d asked me a couple years ago. But, oh, my colorful winged friend, I have been burned before. Long story. Don’t really love thinking about it. But, because I am a helpless moron, it was a similar situation. Super cute human girl. Completely Veiled, not a clue about magic. But so funny. Sharpest sense of humor I’ve ever... I started liking baseball because of this girl, that’s how charming she was.

[A pause.]

Olive: But it wasn’t working, not with this huge part of me hidden. We both felt it. And so one day I thought, that’s it. This is stupid. I am going to get Mel to see past the Caul if it kills me. So I - I did some magic in front of her. Just made her appetizer dance around a little bit. And instantly, her eyes just... unfocus. A moment, later Mel’s saying she needs to go home. She needs to leave, now. And I...

[She laughs bitterly.]

Olive: I couldn’t let it go. I ran after her. I kept casting spell, after spell, over and over again. Thinking this one will do it, no this will be the one. Until suddenly, there it was: her apartment door slamming in my face.

[A pause.]

Olive: I’d gone too far. I knew it. So the next day I went to the store where she worked to say how sorry I was. And I was halfway through talking when I suddenly realized... Mel wasn’t looking at me. She was looking through me. She couldn’t see me anymore at all. I fought the Caul. The Caul won. It just... blocked me out of her life completely. After that? Well, surprise, surprise, I haven’t dated much. Haven’t felt that way about anyone for a bit, actually. At least not until Taylor. And... I can’t. I - I just - I can't have someone look through me like that again.

[A pause.]

Olive: Those are the constraints I’m working with. I just don’t have any idea what do to with them. You have any ideas?

[She lets out a small laugh.]

Olive: You don’t know. You wouldn’t even know if you were a real bird. I’m the only one who can know and I just... don’t. So if you three pretentious mood stones can just chill, that would be great, okay?

[The runes' humming stops.]

Olive: Thank you. I need to sort out myself a little bit before I make any decisions. Although I should probably take a closer look at the formulas in the notebook. It’d be good to know that this is actually stuff I can do.

[She pulls open the box.]

Olive: Wait, where did the notebook go? Oh crap.

[The sound of the scene fades down and disappears.]

[Sound fades back in on the bar, the following day.]

[The door swings open and we hear footsteps as Olive enters.]

Recorded Voice: Top o’ the morning to ya!

Olive: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s just peachy.

[More footsteps as she moves into the space. After a moment, she starts unloading a dishwasher. We hear the sounds of clattering dishes and silverware under the following:]

Olive: Morning, bird! How was your night? Because mine? Sucked. Six hours looking through every nook and cranny in this place, not to mention four different augury incantations to try to find it, and you know what I’ve got to show for it? Jack.

[A plate cracks.]

[A small pause.]

Olive: The plate is fine. You didn’t see anything.

[She exhales.]
 

Olive: Sorry, I’ve been a little... on edge. Because of the stuff. And well, the other stuff. Still no idea what happened to the notebook, which means... I am in a hilarious amount of trouble. Hilarious to the people who are going to punish me for loosing track of state secrets, not so much for me...

[She takes a deep breath.]

Olive: But... that’s a problem for five days from now Olive. Problem for current Olive... is how messy this place is. Did we have a bachelor party in here last night or something?

[There's a rubbery, snapping sound, followed by an elastic squeaking.]

Olive: Oh, we did. Yikes.

[She continues putting dishes away. They clatter as she arranges them.]

Olive: Sooo... Any more thoughts on how I ought to handle my suddenly serious and fraught life choices? Taylor, uh, say anything to you last night on Late Shift?

[More plate stacking. She sighs.]

Olive: Yes, I’m aware that I’m stalling taking a stupid look in the stupid box! I am a giant hypocrite and love unnecessarily dramatic forms of communication just as much as the rest of my people, apparently. I just wish I would start thinking about one thing more than the other, you know? Like, eleven hours ago, I was trying to maybe, like, re-create the formula in the notebook; and I was starting to make good progress on that - at least I think I was - when you know what my brain decided it wanted to do instead? Come up with another sixteen ideas for coded message cocktails. And you know what? I think number fourteen maybe isn’t half bad...

[A pause. She sighs.]

Olive: Okay, fine. I’ll check the box.

[Footsteps as she walks across the room.]

Olive: I’m gonna check, and if there’s nothing there... then I’m not gonna care. And that’s gonna be an answer and it’s gonna be -

[She opens the box. Some paper inside of it slides around.]

Olive: Oh my God! Notebook! What are you d- ? Wait - Are you - ? Are the pages -?!

[Some harried flipping through pages. Then, a deep sigh of relief.]

Olive: Oh, thank the Lord... you’re okay. I’m okay. Whoo.

[She laughs.]

[Some paper crinkles.]

Olive: Wait, what... there wasn’t a note here before... Oh. “Hey, Early Shift! I wanted to make sure this found its way back to you. I saw it in the Lost and Found the other day, while looking for a woman’s bracelet. It was giving off such a strong vibe that these poor guys were all standing behind the chairs to watch the Astros game rather than sit near it. If it’s not yours, my apologies, I know we haven’t really talked about Unseen World things ever. But I kinda assume, since there aren’t any other magicians on staff as far as I know.” Hmm... “Related question: I don’t know if it’s presumptuous for someone like me to even ask one of Fae and please don’t take offense if I’m doing this wrong - but, I’d love to keep in touch. And - again, if this is presumptuous -" Oh, sweetheart, it is really, really not. “- but I’d love to buy you a drink outside of work before I need to head out of town. Maybe a Magic Is Real? Just got that, by the way. Clever!” Oh, man. This is it. I can clock out now, this can’t get - wait! Oh my gosh -

[Some more paper rustling.]

Olive: That’s a phone number. That’s what that is.

[She laughs.]

Olive: Oh, Mr. Bird. This is bad. This is very bad. Because I mean, if she’s leaving, but we’re keeping in touch from different places... I can kind of be in any place... Right?

[We hear the muffled humming of the runes.]

[Olive laughs.]

Olive: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and be smug, you stupid runes. I couldn’t care less.

[We hear some footsteps as she walks over to the Lost and Found.]

Olive: Change is great.

[The box scrapes clatters as she opens it. She picks up one of the runes.]

Olive: Okay. Let's do this.

[There's a woosh, and the familiar woodland atmosphere from earlier reappears.]

[Olive takes a deep breath.]

Olive: (magically amplified) To the High Court of Zecarion, sovereign enclave of the Kingdom of Annwyn Lis, greetings and wishes for pleasant days. I, Ollantesia D’Hamb- mmm, no, still not doing that. I, Olive Hamby of the city of Chicago, hermeticist of Worlds both Seen and Unseen, will return to be of service to the Court for the purpose of accomplishing the project outlined in your missive. It is my wish to return in three weeks time, for a period of no longer than six weeks. Any further service to the Court can be negotiated. But... (normal voice) I have other business which I must attend to first.

[The woodland atmoshpere transitions to Unseen theme music.]

Announcer: This has been UNSEEN, by Long Story Short Productions, based on an original idea by Gabriel Urbina, with additional conceptual design work by Sarah Shachat. Today’s episode was written and directed by Sarah Shachat, with script editing by David K. Barnes. It starred Eli Barraza in the role of Olive Hamby. It also featured the voice of Andy Goddard. Original Music by Alan Rodi, and sound design by Zach Valenti. UNSEEN is produced by Sarah Shachat, Zach Valenti, and Gabriel Urbina, along with Angel Acevedo, Jenn Schneider, and Amy Tanguay. For more information on the Unseen World, please visit Unseen.Show. Thank you for listening.

[Music fades out.]

End of Episode.